Dating strategy 101: 5 tips to help you get noticed by that special someone

Dating is not always as easy as we would like it to be. When you’re ready for a meaningful connection, much goes into putting yourself out there.

Even on dating apps, you want the best picture of yourself; and hope your bio makes quite an impression. But getting noticed requires one to be intentional, even offline.

UK-based dating coach Mia Fields says, more than anything, it is all about self-work.

“Working on yourself allows you to be different, to stand out and ultimately attracts his attention,” she tells us.

Although getting noticed is important, you should not do it in a way that invalidates who you are and makes you desperate to fit into someone’s preferences or perceptions.

Mia shares 5 things one can do to get noticed by the one you fancy:

1. Be present

This might sound basic and obvious, but women need to position themselves to be seen strategically. Whether it is spending more time outside the home or being active in the online dating space, it’s necessary to make additional effort outside the usual home-work-home routine.

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I interact with many women who want to find a partner but don’t do much about positioning themselves socially or showing up online. If you’re going to get noticed, you need to have a strategy and become ‘present’.

2. Deportment

Your deportment plays such a critical role in your getting noticed, and it holds true that first impressions matter! Within the first 3 seconds, an opinion is formed; externally by how you dress, your shoes, and your hair and also internally by how you carry yourself, your facial expressions, your gait, and your conduct. What story does it all relay about you? Your disposition, attitude and how you naturally interact with others, to your physical appearance and the way you dress, your body language, and the way you speak all determine whether you will be noticed positively. Find ways to elevate your standard of deportment to get noticed more readily.

3. Mindset

Your mindset tells a silent story about you as it influences so many areas of your life; the way you think, the way you perceive things, your feelings about life and your success. For instance, you’re not going to be successful in finding your desired partner if you nurture a negative mindset by lumping all men into a negative basket. By believing you don’t deserve good love (determined by your level of self-worth, which is an entire topic) or believing dating is just too hard, what’s the point? It would help if you approached dating positively, assuming you can get the right partner.

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4. Confidence

When you exhibit a high level of confidence, you tend to exude a unique flair about you which captivates those around you. And this happens because, unfortunately, it’s not an attribute many possess at that level. Both men and women can readily detect the difference in a woman who is self-assured by how she effortlessly commands attention, speaks, and walks. All eyes tend to gravitate toward you without requiring additional effort to attract his attention. So find ways to increase your confidence – start by accepting your flaws, being kind to yourself, and accepting that you will make mistakes – if you want to be that person who turns heads.

5. Red lipstick

That’s right, ladies! This colour grabs people’s attention, and red tends to stand out more – red lipstick, red bag, and red purse. Lipstick is an immediate change you can make if you want to be seen. So when he looks across the room from a distance, you’ll stand out. It’s also considered daring, and having confidence allows you to wear it with comfort. So, please do yourself a favour and make those lips stand out.

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“Remember, you write your story! If you’re unsatisfied with the current script, you can always reset and reinvent yourself to the version you want to become! The goal is to work on and invest in yourself to become self-assured, to be positively different, to stand out, and to be desired. Get these right, and you’ll surely attract their attention,” Mia says.

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